1. I said NO and I didn’t feel guilty.
I have gotten in the habit of always saying maybe and yes. “Maybe.” “Of course. Let’s set up something soon.” I started to realize that these were my go-to responses. In my head, I meant them in the moment. But the reality is that I rarely follow-through. I am still figuring out why I don’t follow-through. And other times, I know I should just come out and say NO. And not only say no, but not feel like I need to explain myself or feel guilty. So, this week, I decided that I would say no and not explain myself. This may seem simple to you, but I was extremely nervous, and this was a big deal. But I did it! I said no, and politely thanked her for the invite. It was short, simple, and straight to the point. I assumed I was going to get a negative reply asking me to explain myself, and to my surprise, I did not. I mean all these years I could have said no and been okay and I didn’t? Well, now I am. I know that it showed the type of people I was around that I would expect a negative response as well as the fact I know that I may receive a response not to my liking. And that’s okay. It is important to stay true to myself, and not add extra stress by making matters worse. The people that care for you will not have you explain unless you want to explain, and the other people will make you explain with their minds made up already. So, the moral of the story, is just answer it truthfully. Of course, this is easier said than done. But with a little practice, it will become a healthy habit, and one that will lessen your stress and anxiety 😊
2. I Planned a Small Event Scared.
So, I have generalized anxiety as well as social anxiety. I have it pretty bad. I tend to stay away from social events, and I rarely have them at my place. The sad part is that I love to plan events. I keep a very nice place because I am proud of it. I put time and energy into my place, and no one really gets to see it. I have dreamed of having some people over to talk about my business and all things women; our accomplishments, fears, etc. I wanted to sit around, eat apps, drink wine and have some bonding time. The dream would fade, and I moved on. But this week I decided to invite some people over for this type of event. I don’t know if anyone would come by. But that’s not the point. I made an evite, with details, and I put myself out there. I was scared, but I did it anyways. And it felt liberating. It really did. It was a step in the right direction of creating a life that I love and that I am proud of. This will take time, but I am providing the foundation in which to build upon. We all come up with excuses, like this is not the right time or it won’t be a success. But the right time is now. There will never be a perfect time where you are not scared. So, do it scared. And remember, its not about the payout or the show up. The important thing to remember is that YOU showed up! 😊
3. I Planned a Trip I have Wanted to Go On.
I have wanted to go on a summer trip. I love to travel, and I like to go every 3-5 months somewhere. Lately, I have been pushing off a trip. I am not sure why, but I really needed and wanted to go away for a few days. I know it always does me well, and at the same time, it challenges me. I think I was in a traveling rut and making up excuses and busy work for me to do. I mean we all have a ton to do, but it is important to make time for what we really want and need for ourselves. So, I decided to plan the trip. And the irony with just taking this step, I kept running into people that knew where I wanted to travel and helped so much with the suggestions. See, when we move in the right direction, God tends to open doors. I have also noticed that if I do something within a few minutes of me talking about it, it actually gets done. Once I overthink it, I end up not doing it and putting off for another day and another day and so on. I am so glad that I planned it. If you have been wanting to do something lately, do it! Take the first step and let the rest fall into place! 😊
4. I Looked at Myself Naked.
Ok, this probably sounds weird. But I never look at myself naked. I undress quickly and go into the shower. Thank God for the steamy mirrors when I get out to grab my towel. See, my body has changed a lot over the years. I knew it, but I was not used to this change, and I was not very nice to myself about the change. I also found that others weren’t as nice either. Sometimes, they overtly said it, and other times, it was a look up and down. Either way, I did not feel good about my body. I don’t think I ever really did. So, I decided that this is MY body and it is a part of me for the rest of my life. I stood in the mirror and just stared. Yes, it felt weird and a little creepy. I did turn my head and get a few tears in my eyes. But not because of what I saw, but rather how bad I have treated my body over the years. I was so mean and abusive, and I did not want to do it anymore. My body did nothing wrong but take my abuse and work overtime keeping me alive and here to live. Right then and there, I was done being mean to my body. I know this will be a very long process that will without a doubt have setbacks, but I will not allow others, and certainly not myself, to keep beating up such a beautiful vessel 😊
5. I Spoke Up for Myself.
I sure did, and I am damn proud of myself. See, I can be loud and talk a whole lot. I am opinionated and like I said, I talk A LOT. Most of it is due to my anxiety. And a lot of it was from having to be quiet, and not have my opinions respected. It is angry and defensive talking if I am going to be honest with myself. People mistake this with being extroverted and standing up for myself. But I actually have a hard time speaking up for myself and meaning it. I may stand up for myself, but I then feel guilty or bad for my opinion. I know I should not. But I am a product of my experiences, and that unfortunately, has really molded me into someone that feels guilt and shame a lot. Although it has been getting a lot better since I recognized it, owned it, and decided to practice daily on being me. That sounds pretty sad and crazy, but it is true, and that’s where I am at right now. It is important to practice what we preach and practice what we want to become healthy habits in our lives 😊