Nobody likes rejection. Even typing the word makes me think back to the days I felt like a failure. Rejection stung so bad. I wanted to look at it in a positive way. I wanted to believe people when they said that it wasn’t the right fit. Or this rejection will open up doors for other opportunities to walk on through. I would tell myself those things and read all the positive ecards, but I never felt it. I began to feel shame, and like I was unable to be a successful person in this life. That’s really sad as I catch a tear from my eye, but it’s the truth that many of us face.
After experiencing a lot of rejection in different areas, I began to not try as much. Some of this was conscious, but a lot of it was subconscious. I did not see that I was becoming very comfortable with just getting through the day. I did a lot of busy work, but I was not progressing. In my mind, I was adulting and being responsible, but I wasn’t using my potential. I had lost my passion and drive for more. Because I was already being productive, I used that as an excuse to remain comfortable. And within my comfort zone, I isolated myself with my anxiety. As bad as this may sound, I felt okay with it. Anxiety and being a loner were always a part of my life. I mistook being in a rut and in the midst of disordered behavior with accepting myself. This went on for some time until I was hit with a reality check.
I was sitting at home alone and I started crying. I had been feeling this overwhelmed yet not satisfied feeling for a while. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but I needed a change. I had different forms of rejection and it was causing all sorts of anxiety and depression. I would attempt to rectify the situation by getting my creative juices going, but nothing was happening. I was too anxious to go after my goals, but I was too sick of just being comfortable. I couldn’t relax, and I knew there was more out there for me. I couldn’t pinpoint what I was going to do, but I knew I needed to put myself out there again. The problem was two-fold. On one hand, I didn’t want anymore rejection. And on the other hand, I didn’t just have one area of my life I wanted to change. I had a lot, and it made me feel overwhelmed and like I never really made a life for myself. This would always get in the way when I was trying to progress. I knew I had to just take it one step at a time and one day at a time. This sounds cliché, but it was the only way to move forward.
As I began to figure out where my life was going, I thought about how I was actually being redirected. This whole time that I was focused on feeling bad about rejections, I was actually being redirected. And I had no idea! See, when we are in the middle of a situation or in a rut or lost, it is difficult for us to take a step back and see the full picture. We tend to not want to feel the pain. We tend to solely rely on faith and not put in the work. Even if this work is just going on with our lives until we get answers or figure things out. We allow our emotions to take over, and we impulsively want the things that are lacking in our lives. But I think it’s important to be honest with ourselves and be gentle with ourselves. We all have our ups and downs, and when we bring awareness to this, we are able to shift our mindset and perspective.
I think that life throws us challenges and obstacles all the time. I never really understood this growing up. I knew I would have struggles, but I guess I thought that life was a lot more fair. I learned that it wasn’t, and if you are not prepared for all of life offers you, it can have detrimental consequences. I realized that I can’t take every type of rejection and have an emotional response that blocks my ability to keep moving forward. I have wasted lots of time throwing myself a pity party and talking about situations as opposed to changing them. It is important to acknowledge your emotions and feel them otherwise they will boil over and become a problem later. However, it is vital to keep going. I know it’s hard and it’s the last thing you want to do, but you have to dig deep and crawl if you have to. You are so worth it. You are stronger than you think, and you can do this. You have so much talent to share with the world. It is time for you to take all of the rejections, get mad, and redirect them with passion like never before. This is your time to take back your life!