Lady B Essentials

There is a grief processDivorce is difficult. It doesn’t matter whether you wanted the divorce or not, it is inevitably...

Therapy can be very beneficial. However, it is important to be proactive. You need to advocate for yourself, show up for yourself, and put in the hard work.

One of the most difficult aspects of toxic relationships is the highs and the lows. The highs have you feeling as if you are on cloud nine, but you will be slowly let down every single time until you hit the low lows. It will be confusing, and you tend to feel bad about yourself. Remember, it is not you. You are enough, and you are being manipulated. Breathe, hold your truth close to you, and remember your worth.

Mental health is just as important as physical health: It seems so obvious that we all have mental health as well as physical health. However, I only viewed mental health in terms of mental health problems. But when I changed my perspective, I realized that I needed to take extra special care of my mental health. It is a vital aspect of whole health, and it helped me to prioritize it.

For a long time, I was so angry. I thought that I had dealt with my trauma correctly by discussing, forgiving, and healing it. But I kept having outbursts; I kept getting triggered. I was allowing others to take my power. I couldn't stop. I got angry, had expectations that didn't get met, cried, forgave, and started again. This was until I knew I had to break this cycle. But how? I had to get to the root of the problem. I was hurting, and I was so sad. I just wanted to be heard, held, and respected. But it was coming out as anger. I need to give those things to me. I needed to practice forgiveness and healing, not just say it. But I first need to give those things to me. Remember, your anger is not about the topics you argue about, but rather about the deep issues.

I've come to realize that I never really learned how to deal with my emotions; they were bothersome to most. They usually didn't fit with the day's agenda so that just meant they got tucked away inside; I was an emotional hoarder. In time, each emotion started rearing its ugly head. But it was usually chalked up to hormones or some trendy 'crisis.' The reality is that I didn't know how to regulate my emotions. It wasn't until I realized that adult temper tantrums & volatile relationships weren't the norm, that I realized I had a lot of work to do. I still struggle w/ my emotions. How much is too much? Am I expressing myself enough? Is this in the normal range of emotions, & what is really normal? I'll keep learning, practicing, succeeding & failing, & starting all over again. That's the beautifully messy part of the growth journey.

1. I love you. I don't want to be so hard on you, and talk so harshly at times. I am sorry, and I appreciate you for exactly who you are.
2. I am sorry I have doubted you and minimized your feelings. I apologize for imposing others' thoughts onto you.
3. You are so very special. You have so much love, life, passion, consideration, and knowledge to give to this world.
4. Please know that I will love you unconditionally through it all, and in the hard times, I will listen, not just hear, I will communicate not just talk, and I will be present, not just here